Terminologies

* Frienefits - Friends with benefits

* Frienemies - with friends like these, who needs enemies

* Chorvah - isang space filler, example "I like you because your kind, sweet and...and...and... chorvah"

please support my friend Jan Manual sa Starstruck3 the next level.

I had nothing to do so i went to UP Diliman (my school) and took a picture of the famous UP Sunken Garden, damn I miss UP!. Here are some photos, hope you like it.

Mga nakakatawang Vandals sa UP

ARTS & SCIENCES (AS):

AS chairs:
"push button to eject seatmate"
"push button to eject urself"
"push button to kill teacher."
"push button to eject teacher"
....reply: "it's jammed! We're doomed!"

AS 1st floor CR uli:
"Im a simple gay "
tapos may sumagot
"sira! Dapat 'Im simple and gay!' Taga peyups ka ba? duh! "
tapos may sumagot (with matching arrow pa na nakaturo dun sa reply)
"sira ka rin! yung simple is used as an adjective tapos yung gay is used as a noun. kaya ok lang yung simple gay nya!"

AS cubicle:
"Donate your bulbol here.." tapos may chewing gum na pagdidikitan. ...

AS chair :
"you know bobo? bobo is you!"

AS 1st floor CR:
"if you forget the past, then you porget the purious.."

MATH:
sa CR sa may Math building:
"SUMAPI SA NPA!"
may sumagot:
"PAANO?"
may sumagot pa:
"MAGFILL UP NG COUPON AT IHULOG SA PINAKAMALAPIT NA DROP BOX SA SUKING TINDAHAN!"

sa likod ng isang "teacher's chair" sa 3 rd floor:
"BABALA: asawa ni babalu"


sa Math 3rd floor, sa isang upuan uli:
"you'll NEVER find what you're looking for"
may nag-reply:
"find x."


sa Math 3rd floor, sa isa pang upuan uli.
nakasulat sa armchair:
"F*CK DA WORLD! "
tas may sumagot:
"F*CK U TOO!
--WORLD"

3rd floor Math CR:
"kaibigan, pagkapatos mong umihi,
paki PLUS mo naman, hehehe."


FINE ARTS:
"nobody cares"
somebody answered:
"not even the carebares?"
then another:
"not even kier?"
then:
"not even zoren?"
lastly:
"not even zorro?"
....all written by different people.


CHEM:

Chem chair:
"push button to spray acid on prof's face."

Another Chem chair:
"You Boron!!!"


BIO:
Bio chair:
"Push cadaver to haunt teacher."

FO Santos:
"SA MGA NAGTATAPON NG BASURA DITO... bawal."

ENG'G:
Sa Men's CR, facing the urinal:
"Hawak ko saking mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng bayan!"
reply:
"the future you are holding is very small."

GAB:
sa likod ng armchair sa isang room sa GAB:
"takas ng ward 7"


UP INTEGRATED SCHOOL

....sa loob ng music room.
"maam _______(music prof) boses palaka!"
tas may sumagot
" nakarinig ka na ba ng boses ng palaka "
tas may sumagot uli
"weh"
tas may nag-react uli
"oo, sabi kokak!kokak!"

VINZONS:
Wall ng Vinzons
"Do not steal. The government hates competition."


men's cr sa Vinzon's:
"remember: the hands that clean this toilet are the same hands that cook your food."
men's cr waaaay above the urinal:
"if you can read this, the fire department wants you!"


NIGS:
sa isang upuan:
"f*ck nigs!"
may nagreply:
"who's nigs?"


MAIN LIB
sa isang lamesa ng main lib, filipiniana section:
"UP STUDENTS HAS BECOME PATETHIC"
tapos may sumagot
"mali pang grammar at spelling mo, halatang di ka taga UP"

KALAI:
nietzsche-"god is dead"
God- "Nietzsche is dead!"


SHOPPING CENTER:
sa labas ng PNB:
" in case of emergency break ass and push butt"

sa girls' CR:
"Bawal ang vandal dito!...
Mommy said: First Aid Terramycin"

sa girls' CR uli:
"My boyfriend and I had sex and now I'm pregnant"
reply:
" Pray to God"

nakakatawa lang

japanese pranks2

japanese pranks

Fact Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish have no brains

Polar bears are left-handed.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Funny Things heard sa Game Show

from laban o bawi ulit:

joey: sinong cartoon character na aso ang kaibigan ni donald duck? clue: may dalawang "O" ang pangalan niya.
buzz!!!
contestant #1: MICKEY MOUSE!!!
joey: spell mickey mouse?
contestant #1: m-i-c-k-e-y m-O-O-s-e???
joey: mali!
buzz!!!
contestant #2: SNOOPY!!

joey: saang nobela galing ang mga characters na sina alladin at flerida?
contestant: uuuhhh... ALLADIN IN WONDERLAND?

joey: sinong pari ang kasama nila padre burgos at zamora na ginarote sa bagumbayan noong (i forgot what year)?
sagot: PADRE DAMASO?

+++++

Here are some of "The Weakest Link" spoofs!!! you'll die laughing
Edu: saang movie matatagpuan ang phrase na
"yabadabadoo"?
Allan: Scoobydoo

Edu : ano ang tagalog ng sideburns?
contestant : IBON!

Edu: Anong ibig sabihin ng IQ?
Jeffrey Quizon: Ahh...Intelligence Quotation?!?

Edu: Saan sa Espanya si Don Quixote?
Chico: Sa Espanya

Edu: ano ang ibig sabihin ng charlatan?
nagmamaang-maangan o nagmamarunong
contestant: can you repeat the question?
Edu: (repeats the Q)
contestant: (pauses a while) yes?
*eto yata yung CSB na kalbo

Edu: Ilan ang numero ng PLDT landline?
Estong: 3!
Edu: Estong, san ka ba tumatawag, sa 114?
Edu: Ilan ang letters of the Filipino Alphabet?
Miles (DJ): 36!

Edu : Saan matatagpuan ang Taj Mahal?
Angelu : Malaysia..
actually...MALAYSIA lang ata ang alam na bansa ni
angelu...kasi tinanong din sya kung saang bansa
nanggaling ang mahabharata (kung ano man ang ispeling
nun) ... eh sa MALAYSIA din daw yun nagoriginate!
lintek ... itapon na nga yan sa MALAYSIA

Edu: ano sa tagalog ang albino?
mo: ahh.. maputi?

Edu: ilan lahat ang continents?
contestant: 72?

Edu: ano ang pinakamataas na position sa baranggay?
jeremie (dunno if this is the right name, don't knowwho she is eh): congressman!

Edu: Kung ang sunrise ay ang pagtaas ng araw, ano naman ang sunset?
Buddy: Ahh... Pass

Edu: Pang-ilang Newton's Law ang nagsasabing For every
action, there's an equal and opposite reaction ?
Contestant (Jeremie?): (nag-isip pa ng konti)....>> 12th?

interview with cho (from miriam college) after mavote-off:
Cho: si Andrew hindi mukhang estudyante, mukha siyang tatay!
*sya yun! yung taga-CSB

Edu: ano ang susunod na linya sa "leron leron sinta"?
Marco Sison: "nabali ang sanga"

Edu: Ano sa tagalog ang tamarind
contestant (Butch, writer): tamarindo

EDU : Kung ang stepfather ay amain, ano naman ang stepmother?
Cel: (pauses and thinks) ah... INAHIN?

Edu: anong sea creature and kalahating kabayo at kalahating isda?
contestant: (daw!!!) syokoy!!!!

edu: ano ang 6 squared?
girl from UST(with matching emote):uhmm. . . 3?

Edu: Ano ang tawag sa arithmetic na ginagamitan ng symbols?
Rico: China!
edu: ano ang pangalan ng crab sa Little Mermaid?
contestant: um...(thinks hard, gets desperate) crabby?

Edu: Ano ang tawag sa plastik na lalagyan ng basura?
Contestant: Plastik Bag na nilalagyan ng basura?

Edu: Sa Pilipinas, ano ang rehiyon na CAR?
Contestant: Kotse

EDU: Sino ang nagpapa VASECTOMY; Lalake o Babae? Contestant: Babae
Edu, kung ang asawa mo sasabihin sa yo na nag pa
vasectomy siya, mag duda ka na!

Head-to-Head
Edu: Sino ang sumulat ng The Old Man and The Sea?
UP Guy, Mark: Ernest Hemmingway
Edu: That is a correct answer.
Edu: Sino ang author ng The Crucible?
DLSU Guy, Andrew(yung sabi ni Cho na "kalbong mukhang>> tatay"):
Umm..i dunno..Ernest Hemmingway?
..wala ba siyang kilalang ibang author?

Edu: Ano ang liquid na lumalabas sa katawan kapag naiinitan?
Contestant: tears?
Edu: anong B ang sinusuot ng mga kalalakihan lang na
pambaba?
Contestant: [isip pa matagal] uhh jeans?

Edu: kelan nagsisimula ang "ber" months
Contestant: Pass
*Later*
Edu: Hindi mo ba alam kung kelan ang "ber" months?
Contestant: Akala ko kasi BEAR months

Edu: Anong tawag sa taong walang suot sa paa?
Contestant: SLIPPERLESS!

Edu: Kung ang sa lalaki ay fraternity, ano naman ang sa babae?
Zaldy: Maternity

at ang pinakasikat...
Edu: Kung ang AKLATan ay LIBRARY, ano naman ang ALAKdan?
Sir Gaylord: WINEry!!!!

dugtong...
Edu: Ilan ang members ng backstreet boys?
Sir Gaylord: (Isip ng malalim) 6 (si Sir ang pang-anim)

EDU: ilang unggoy ang miyembro ng bandang "the monkey"?
CONTESTANT: lima!

EDU: sino ang bodabil queen ng pilipinas?
CONTESTANT: nova villa

EDU: ilan ang paa ni spiderman?
CONTESTANT: walo

EDU: kapag 6:30a.m., anong unit of measurement ang 30? CONTESTANT: a.m.

at ang pinakamatindi...
EDU: ano ang mas maliit-- itlog ng pugo o anak ng tao?
CONTESTANT: anak ng tao
(after the questions were over)
EDU: bakit mo naman nasabing mas maliit ang anak ng tao sa itlog ng pugo?
CONTESTANT: ang dinig ko po, itlog ng tao.

The Self Serving Bitch strikes again!!!

Sobrang nakakairita kung makakarinig ka ng balita tungkol sa isang brahang ewan na nagrereklamo, tapos dinamay pa buong class namin para daw mag petition ek-ek.... tapos ngayong nakuha na nya gusto nya, binaliktad nya lahat!

Kesyo fair naman pala itong taong ito or something like that. Ngayon, nasan na sinasabi nyang justice? Sa kanya oo! pero sa iba nasan?

Iniwan na nya yung mga dinamy nya sa petition ek-ek nya! Ang mga ganitong tao ay walang patutunguhan, puro sarili iniintindi.

P.S. Wag ka naman feeling, hindi lahat ng lalaki nagkakagusto sayo..... di ba? nemfa hehehe